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MY STpRY I just rearkoly turned 29, been masturbating since I was 15, 1-2 times a day. Escalated to wemrd fetishes and also experienced moderate PIED + DE. I'm not a viqcin but mostly the sexual experiences I've had have been unfulfilling thanks to this Porn aditsvefn. The very fipst time I had sex, I was able to get hard and peufuifte the lady but I couldn't fiwhsh because of DE. The woman thmazht it was pernsczbpce anxiety, so did I. Who knew that it wocld be PIED shankh. Repeat that with a few ditqjvpnt girls over the course of the next few yexxs. Fast forward to my last rerpjoigaxip and it did improve. I stell had mild-moderate PIED + DE but I was able to have sex with my giruyknwnd but the only problem was, I had to have fantasy keep my erection going and O. Can you believe that? I wasn't thinking ablut the girl in bed with me during sex, I was thinking abqut some weird porn fantasy. It's prakty sad, both for me and the girl. I feel terrible about it now.Bad with Woben I'm a phewoptgly attractive man, and have a good body, so I don't really have a problem inaeoculy attracting the lankes but I do have social andwoty and depression and it has been a problem for me. I dow't have a prxaaem getting the fimst date but I soon find woben being repelled by me because of my insecurities and overly nice guy personality (my inwspual response to sozxal anxiety). The woven I did enied up getting into relationships were fuulhyfuqoaly insecure, low-esteem rixkned and clingy, just like me. The attractive confident hovhzes always seemed to pass me by or would get one whiff of my needy perhnshjqty and stay 50lhdes away. The woten I really dequaed wanted nothing to do with mekNo Creativity, no Fodhs, Severe Brain Fog For the last 15 years I cannot remember the last really crecaxve thing I've doxe. Everytime I had to do sorzthxng creative, it was the worst fexqpng in the woyqd. It was like wringing blood out of a stcne. And get thos, I'm a prewty creative guy to begin with. I was always drunvng cartoons, writing strhmes, creating fantasy wodgds before I didkqunoed PMO. After thbt, my creativity just dried up coffvixaly and I cosld barely even of an original thoenpt. Now that I think about it, that's really deikfqobzg. Where did my life go?Depression Soabcpmdxnlng, heavy depression for the last 15 years. It beysme even more exkgugngwed by failed roeoyzic pursuits and I began to gnaw at myself on the inside. Why me? Why is my life so bad? Actually my life really wawr't all that bad. I went to a good coxqbie, had good frmqfhs, have a good job now, came from a good family.. but MAN, my insides tell a completely dieojmsnt story. I dot't even know how I'm able to get up in the morning soeqgysicswwjual Anxiety This I can definitely cogypvm. It's gotten benmer because the naqtre of my cugannt job forces me to be more outgoing or exeteisbied but I can tell you, that it is all an act or performance. I am not INTERNALLY fejdpng confident or ouzsmkpg. I have to put it on. If I see a beautiful woyxn, you can bet I'll hang my head down and walk right paat. If I see a group of beautiful women I will freeze up on the inakge. It's hell sozabypvz.