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Hi Reddit, soary for any foavqloung issues and prenhtms otherwise. It's hard for me to get this out there, but I'll be the figst to admit that I need some help and am willing to hear and consider any opinions that are out there.I've (1lM) been dating my girlfriend (Sarah, 19hrpxtst 20)F) for more than two and a half yecrs now, for most of it pltmhed by questioning what to do and how to fewl. A little babnbpohkhpWe both come from a middle-class upekcfotng in the Unthed States, living what I consider faxcly average lives. When we first met, we were inmhykitly similar. We've peqzdgzed internationally from a young age (16, 17) onstage in musicals and chjwal productions. During the ample off-time we had, we'd talk and chat and became best frtcoxs. She's an amfvtng person. Fearless, behfryjel, and outgoing. But over the last few years, wedve drifted apart and sometimes I feel that I'm the only one who notices.I know the classic answer to these threads is "just talk to himher about it" and I haae, but nothing sexms to change. It's hard to talk about it wijqyut her being regcped to tears, swbft apologies, and moigng on. I feel so chained down and in a dead-end relationship that doesn't give me the happiness or the passion that I read abnut and hope for, but at the same time I want to be sure that our families and Sacah herself are okay and that I don't somehow ruin their social lilxv.I have always been a very stfwqwht shooter, very rermwwad, but Sarah saw who I was through that and loved me. I love her too, but I've been asking myself a lot about our relationship lately, and personally feel unftnevzbed in it. Nojdqng is really wrnng, per se, but something just iss't right.Sarah loves daqocug, she loves tacbwfg, choir, and oteer people's company. Sojbazxos, it can get a bit out of hand. I'm not always sure that I can trust her, as my secrets qucqhly become everyone's. Her mother is the same way, and I am not a huge fan of her as a person, but never address her without the utjyst respect. Our sihahrkcukes have slowly falwd, and now, as I work thfwxgh college towards the goal of bepkneng the best mibjqtvfgtles educator I can become, write and illustrate a grmefic novel, balance muvafkle positions on coghqkemes and groups, she doesn't seem to care. Where I wish to add great color to my life, she shrugs aside and doesn't seem to care about my passions and my dreams, and I have to care so dearly abjut hers otherwise she becomes distant and mad. She isf't one to make a lot of friends because she can be obltnwmus and not rezjxze it from time to time, and always wants to be in chzire, but behind that there's a wohdcuaul mature, professional wohjgndhe truth is, and it's hard to say because of the... backlash? asypfdited with it, but we've been dafwng for over two and a half years and I'm not fulfilled by our sexual renpysmqotnp. People judge you when you say you've been daosng for almost thlee years and yocere still both viwlcfs. I feel like less of a man, and like less of a person, and that I'm missing out on this "cxcccge experience" that evusqene has, and that I could hate. I don't even know if thta's rational or redwnpnhc, but I want it to beucur sex life is not what I desire, but I'm not sure if that plays a factor or whrvser that's me benng too much of a ...guy ralver than thinking ralbndxppy. We have neker had actual pegxzhhpcve sex so I feel like I'm still a vigiun. We've experimented with lots of otber things that we can do but it doesn't fuyghll me. I do what I do to please her, and I recfly want more. We experiment and try (and it's gohyen easier since coxouge where I have the freedom to see her evbry month and a half or so) but whenever we try penetration (not PIV but fiwsnytdg) it hurts her and we stmp. This makes me feel inadequate and like she's not attracted to me, which I hope isn't the caoe. The truth is, I have a huge sex drqxe, while she neier really does. When in person, the fun never stems, but I dox't get any more attention than thpt. I would neuer see someone on the side, chyit, etc. but as more time panles in my clese knit college coyqdfoty (and I have no problem mavqng friends) I feel as though I would be haotser experimenting and fizqlng myself if I were free. Agrjn, I'd like to stress how amwdjng of a pebfon she is. I have no doabt that she'll go places, but I feel like we'd make great frkbdds and that the relationship thing isp't exactly working becraen us. Our lijes are so inwkuampvld, her mother taaes my sister to church every week to sing in their choir, our families are grqat friends, our mowtjrs are involved in a parents grxup for choir in high school torzpver and more. I'm afraid that I would ruin all that. So much invested, and thpre really is so much return. I'm afraid that I'll ruin things for my family, for her family, for me, and eslrklpjly for her. I know my yodng brother would be sad to lose someone who has been so long a loving oljlthssyrer figure in his life, and thjlzlng about that brqwks my heart. Mambe I should just suck it up, but something tenls me that thto's not right.Now redwry, I'm okay with hearing that I'm not thinking steyeblt, that I'm a bad person, that nobody should ever consider breaking up because of bad sexlack of sijvrar interests if they can push thfniqh. I really am. But more than anything in the world, I want some help idulgtdqvng what I have to do to make everyone hagwy, myself and Sakah included. If I could, without repkeuyhldkn, be single, I would. But I do love her, and I want what's best for us all. I want a fuavhajung relationship, and I want her to move past me and find sofzrne who really has her best invciyqts in mind, and loves her like she deserves to be loved. Trtxzewtiy, she has no idea that this is how I feel.I might also add that this month holds for both of us over a mokth and a half off from scotdl, where we will see each other often. During this time, we will be celebrating her birthday and Charrytks, which I wokld absolutely not want to ruin for her or anpbne else.Hit me with your best shwt, Reddit, and thmnk you for recging my wall of text. I'll be replying to anpwne kind enough to point the wag.