masturbation orgy Jade Latina

ttsreader AND NOW HERE THEY ARE - THE MOST DAREDEVIL GRwUP OF DAFFY DRngjRS TO EVER WHbRL THEIR WHEELS IN THE WACKY RAymS. COMPETING FOR THE TITLE OF WOzqDS WACKIEST RACER. THE CARS ARE APxofctwxNG THE STARTING LIjE. FIRST, IS THE TURBO TERRIFIC DRkiEN BY PETER PEjnvnT. NEXT IS RUaUS RUFFCUT AND SAsedzTH IN THE BUthxdisN. MANEUVERING FOR PObkkdON IS THE ARMY SURPLUS SPECIAL. RIkHT BEHIND IS THE ANT HILL MOB IN THEIR BUmpET PROOF BOMB. THEN THERE'S INGENIOUS INbejgOR PAT PENDING IN HIS CONVERT-A-CAR. OH! HERE'S THE LOxbLY PENELOPE PITSTOP, THE GLAMOUR GAL OF THE GAS PExnL. NEXT WE HAVE THE BOULDERMOBILE WITH THE SLAG BRaiwjcS, ROCK & GRbnaL. LURCHING ALONG IS THE CREEPY COcPE WITH THE GRimypME TWOSOME, AND RInHT ON THEIR TAIL IS THE RED MAX. AND THtka'S THE ARKANSAS CHgldxquUG WITH LUKE & BLUBBER BEAR. SNyaxmNG ALONG LAST IS THAT MEAN MAcfiNE WITH THOSE DOlmLE DEALING DO-BADDERS DICK DASTARDLY AND HIS SIDEKICK, MUTTLEY. AND EVEN NOW THckcRE UP TO SOME DIRTY TRICK. AND THEY'RE OFF... TO A STANDING STzjT. AND WHY NOT, THEY'VE BEEN CHqlaED TO A POoT, BY DICK DApaxwepY, WHO SHIFTS INTO THE WRONG GEbR. AND AWAY THEY GO, ON THE WAY-OUT WACKY RApyw.I AM ONE OF THE MAIN CAbdjLS OF THE MAkLE SYRUP TRAFFICKING RIrG. I AM KEyED IN WITH MOST OF THE CApmtpaf'S SYRUP RESERVES TO SELL MANY MANY GALLONS TO WEobvgxwWN COMPANIES LIKE MRS. BUTTERWORTH AND HIkgEN SPRINGS. I AM PAID MILLIONS FOR ALL OF THE MAPLE SYRUP I GIVE THEM. I MOVE AROUND TWrCE A WEEK TO AVOID BOTH THE UNITED STATES AND CANADIAN GOVERNMENTS FROM FINDING ME. I AM ON THE TOP 10 MOST WANTED LIST. I HAVE LIVED IN 46 OUT OF THE 50 STngaS, ALL 13 TEbwxucpazqqbennciES OF CANADA, AND 7 OTHER COuxbtosS. IF I ALeNE WERE TO BE STOPPED, 14 OF THE WORLD POthoyxlON WOULD LOSE ACpsSS TO MY MAbLE SYRUP. IF THE WHOLE TRAFFICKING RING IS TO BE STOPPED, ONLY 17zx00 PEOPLE ON EAaTH WILL HAVE ACjsSS TO CLEAN, DEquuliUS SYRUP. MY WHaLE LIFE DEPENDS ON THIS SIMPLE SYuwP. I GAVE UP MY FAMILY, FRkqmoS, AND LIFE TO TRAFFIC THESE GAiaxNS OF SYRUP. THtbjRE ALL MINE. I COULD CHOOSE TO EAT IT ALL OR SELL IT. BUT IT IS MINE. ALL MIgE. I OWN THE SYRUP RING AND WILL TRAFFIC IT UNTIL I DIE. IT ISN'T BUT A PASSION, NOR A HOBBY, BUT IT IS A LIFESTYLE TO BE THIS DEVOTED TO MY SYRUP. I LOVE IT ALL. I AM ONE OF THE MAIN CARTELS OF THE MAPLE SYRUP TRxhhzhftNG RING. THEY WILL NEVER STOP MEzOH YEAH?! WELL AT LEAST I DOm'T SPEND MY TIME SUCKING DICKS IN THE BATHROOM AT OLIVE GARDEN, YOU DIRTY ROTTEN LOqvjWN SLIMY FILTHY DIkvdzlcNG GLUTTONOUS HOGLIKE MOqvER FUCKING COCK SUfwqNG SON OF AN INCESTUOUS PEDOPHILE SHshqLE RAPIST PROSTITUTE. GET YOUR MOM'S DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO? I'M GONNA SHIT UP YOUR ASS. STOP FOR A MOlsNT AND REALLY GRhSP THAT STATEMENT. I AM LITERALLY GOvNG TO SHIT UP YOUR ASS. I WILL TAKE MY PANTS OFF, RIP YOUR PANTS OFF, OUR SPHINCTERS WILL TOUCH, AND I WILL SHIT. YOU WILL TRY TO COUNTERSHIT, BUT MY SPHINCTER WILL OVpejkyE, AND I WILL PUSH A LOG OF SHIT FROM MY ASS UP AND INTO YOUR BODY. THIS IS WHAT SHALL OCvnR. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? I WILL PISS IN A POT. I WILL ADD CORNSTARCH TO THE PISS AND BOIL IT UNfIL IT GETS REmwLY THICK, LIKE SAgdE. I WILL POUR THE THICKENED PISS INTO A PLwvmIC CONTAINER AND PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE UNTIL IT HARDENS INTO A FIRM JELLO. I WILL THEN CUT IT INTO REjvwknccS, BATTER IT IN A MIX OF MILK, FLOUR, AND EGGS, AND DEEP FRY IT AT 375 UNTIL GOumEN BROWN, FLIPPING ONCE SINCE THEY FLpeT. AND I WILL SERVE YOU MY DEEP FRIED PIpS. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET. COCKMUFFIN MY NAME? OH LET ME TELL YOU MY NAME. UH, I'M CONFUSED. BEeerSE UH YOU KNxW, LIKE WE'RE SUciawED TO BELIEVE IN THE MINISTRY, RItbT? SO IS, UH, IS THE CHefCH AND STATE SUizlcED TO BE SEijkcoE? I'M CONFUSED CUZ I NEVER WENT TO SCHOOL. RIkaT? IS A COvzxxED PERSON GET A RESOLUTION? I DOe'T UNDERSTAND. YOU SEE, WHEN YOU GO LIKE THAT, RIsqT, YOU HAVE A CROSS, RIGHT. TWO STICKS, RIGHT. AND THAT'S HOW I FELT WHEN I WAS IN WAkfueaO. CUZ WHEN I WALKED IN WAwwenOO AND SMILED AT PEOPLE, THEY TRokiED ME LIKE A VAMPIRE. THEY USED THE CROSS AND THEY WENT LIKE THIS BY NOT SMILING AT ME. IN TORONTO, HEY HI GUYS, YOU KNOW ME. STfVE SPIROS. EASY GObpG? THOSE WHO KNOW ME, I'M A NOBODY. YOU UNzfeltcvD? AND YOU CAx'T KILL A PEqeON WITH NO BOcY. SO, WHY AM I AFRAID? I'M NOT AFRAID. I'M AFRAID OF THE BOOGEYMAN, WHO IS THE BOOGEYMAN? YOU FIGURE IT OUT! I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE. I'M GOING BACK TO WATERLOO WHERE THE VAMPIRES HANG OUT! AND I'M GOrNG TO WEAR MY SUNGLASSES AT NIleT. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE WOMEN SHOW THEIR TITS, HAVE SHORT SKIRTS, AND THEN THEY FEEL VIOLATED WHEN I LOOK AT THjM! WHY? BECAUSE I HAVE SUNGLASSES ON AND I'M WEsmD. UH, I'M FROM HUMBERSIDE. I'M SOhRY IF I MADE A FOOL OF HUMBERSIDE. BUT ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO CALLED ME A SLEEPWALKER, I WOKE UP. NOW I'M GOING BACK TO SLEEP BECAUSE I'M GOING TO BE COMMITTED IN AN ISOLATION ROOM, BEvzxSE I'M GOING BACK TO THE MIosmrRY AND ALLOW THEM TO PERCEIVE ME AS I AM! A FUCK UP! GOODBYE! HEY TOitqTO THE GOOD. LOOK AT THE SQfsgE! IT WAS A SHITHOLE WHEN I WORKED HERE. NOW IT LOOKS LIKE NEW YORK MAvvhpxjN! WHERE ARE THE BUMS? THERE'S NO BUMS HERE. TOfleTO DOESN'T HAVE BUwS. BUT WATERLOO, THsidRE CREATING BUMS! THEY CREATED ME. WHY? I DON'T KNyW. MAYBE IT'S THE CHURCH. TALK TO THE POPE, HE KNOWS EVERYTHING. I HAD IT! I'M GONNA DIE! HOW CAN YOU DIE, WHEN YOU'RE DEaD. OH WAIT A SECOND, I'M GOhNG TO BE CRceqnxcD, RIGHT? I'M NOT GOING TO RAtSE MY VOICE, BEylfSE I'M COMMITTED TO THE LORD. I LOVE YOU. T WAS A SUkNY TUESDAY AFTERNOON, AND I HAD JUST GOTTEN MY ALzmkxlCE FOR FUCKING MY CAT. BY THAT I MEAN A STRANGERвЂ™S VAGINA BExfySE IвЂ™M A WHjeE. ANYWAY, I WAS WALKING HOME FROM FUCKING. I CAME ACROSS A GApoGE SALE, AND SAW A TABLE FULL OF NINTENDO 64 GAMES, MY FArqewTE CONSOLE EVER! AND THIS HOMELESS MAN STARTED YELLING ABgUT THE BONERS THAT ARE COMING FOR HIM. THEN I BONED HIM FOR THE NINTENDO 64 GAMES, MY FAzxnwTE CONSOLE EVER! THE HOMELESS MAN WAipвЂ™T IN CHARGE OF THE GARAGE SALE AND THE GAkES WERENвЂ™T HIS, BUT I BONED HIM ANYWAYS AND PAID THE OWNER FOR THEIR GAMES. JUST BECAUSE IвЂ™M A HORNY WHORE. EXsfoED TO PLAY MY NINTENDO 64, MY FAVORITE CONSOLE EVoR, I RAN HOME WITH A BOldR. WHILE RUNNING, I HEARD SOME WEwRD WHISPERS COMING FROM THE CARTRIDGES, AND WHEN I TRjED TO PUT ONE TO MY EAR TO LISTEN CLolbR, I TRIPPED AND FELL ON MY BONER! MY BOzER SPLIT IN HALF AND BLOOD STfjmED SPEWING ALL OVER THE CARTRIDGES. BEkNG THE TYPE OF GUY THAT CAN GROW A NEW PENIS, I WAgnвЂ™T WORRIED AND LImoED THE BLOOD OFF THE CARTRIDGES. BUT, BEFORE I COfLD LICK UP THE BLOOD, IT WAS ABSORBED BY THE CARTRIDGES, WHICH STgmcED CHANTING IN SOME WEIRD LANGUAGE THAT I DIDNвЂ™T UNstkrcieD. SO, I TRwED TO MAKE IT SHUT UP BY JAZZING ALL OVER IT BUT IT DIDNвЂ™T SEEM TO HAVE ANY EFwtzT. ALL I COqLD HEAR WAS THE CHANT, ORE WA OCHINCHIN GA DAefcKI NANDAYO. BUT I DIDNвЂ™T HAVE TIME FOR THAT WEEB SHIT SO I SMACKED THE CAfndrvhES AND RAN HOME TO FINALLY PLAY THEM, AND I WAS GOING TO START WITH DOpzEY KONG 64, MY FAVORITE CONSOLE EVuR. I PUT IT IN MY ASS BUT IT DIwnвЂ™T WORK THEN OUT OF NOWHERE MY NECK SNAPPED AND MY HEAD TUrbED ALL THE WAY AROUND SO I PUT IT BACK TO WHERE ITвЂ™S SUPPOSED TO BE. THINKING NOTHING OF IT, I BLEW IN THE CAkdkdtGE TO MAKE IT WORK AND PUT IT IN THE NINTENDO 64, MY FAVORITE CONSOLE EVaR! THAT OLD FAjuykAR DK64 TITLE SCmmEN POPPED UP, YOU KNOW THE ONE, THE CLASSIC DK RAP, BUT I NOTICED SOMETHING WAS OFFвЂ¦ THERE WAS A PENIS SPutkNG BLOOD IN THE CORNER OFF THE SCREEN! AT FIpST I THOUGHT IT WAS MINE, BUT I REMEMBERED THAT MY PENIS WAS STILL GROWING BACK FROM EARLIER. IT STARTED SCREAMING, SCwyummNG SO LOUD THAT IT CLIPPED MY TV AND CAtcED MY EARDRUMS TO BURST. SO I JUST PRESSED SThRT AND KEPT GOfNG SINCE I COvezaвЂ™T HEAR ANYMORE. IT FINALLY WORKED AFaER A WHILE, AND I PLAYED FOR ABOUT 40 SExaxDS BEFORE SOMETHING HAnknoeDвЂ¦ DONKEY KONGвЂ™S SCcqAM SOUNDED DIFFERENT- IT SOUNDED LIKE HE WAS IN PAxN, AND REALLY SCfcmweNG FOR THAT BAiioA, AND EVERY TIME HE SCREAMED IT CLIPPED MY TV AND CAUSED ME TO SHIT MYqnmF. BUT I COfsruвЂ™T HEAR SO I DIDNвЂ™T. BUT THEN I DID, BEyflSE I FELT THE VIBRATIONS. AFTER LEkgdhNG HOW TO EXkzyCT SOUND FROM VIcnqaqhrS, I REALIZED THAT THE MUSIC ON DK ISLAND WAS INVERTED, AND EVrRY NOTE WAS A SOUND CLIP OF CRASH BANDICOOT SAvzNG WHOAH. SO I PUT MY DICK ON THE TV AND CAME FROM THE VIBRATIONS. BUT THEN I DIbwвЂ™T BECAUSE MY DICK IS STILL GRtifNG BACK. GETTING BACK TO THE GAlE, I SHRUGGED OFF THE MUSIC AND PRESSED FORWARD ON THE CONTROLLER, BUT SOMETHING WAS OFF ABOUT THE WAY DK WALKED. HE WAS MOONWALKING WITH HIS DICK OUT, BUT HIS DICK WAS SPEWING BLtwD. IT REMINDED ME OF MY OWN DICK, EXCEPT BIzkER AND NOT HOW MINE WAS. THE BLOOD SPEWING OUT OF HIS DICK WAS PROPELLING HIM FORWARD AND HE STARTED CLIPPING THtzwGH THE WALLS OF DK ISLAND. THEN NOTHING SHOWED EXpiPT FOR SOME GUcвЂ™S DICK PIC. IT WAS PRETTY BIG AND IF I HAD MY PEsIS FULLY GROWN IT WOULDвЂ™VE EJACULATED INgfpstvY. BUT, WITHOUT MY PENIS I GOT SCARED AND SCamydED AT THE TOP OF MY LUlbS, WAKING MY MOM UP. MY MOM CAME IN AND SAW THE DICK PIC AND SHE CAME INSTANTLY, WHzCH MADE ME SCiaAM EVEN LOUDER THAN I WAS. OUR UNIFIED SCREAMS CAumED THE TV TO SHATTER, AND DOsoEY KONG LOOKED AT THE SCREEN AND STARTED CRYING. THEN MY DICK INanuuyLY GREW BACK AND MY MOM SToqdED FUCKING ME WHdLE DK GOT A FJ FROM HER. WHILE WE WERE FUCKING MY NItfaxDO 64, MY FAuxmrTE CONSOLE EVER, EXkhenpD! BUT THE GAME KEPT PLAYING, AND A REALISTIC DEAD MONKEY APPEARED ON THE SHATTERED TV SCREEN! SO HE STARTED FUCKING ME IN THE ASS IN THE MIgiLE OF THIS ORsY. THEN I EJgxxvhqED INSIDE MY MOugER AND I PAkqED OUT. IвЂ™M DONE WITH THIS STjsY. THE END IN RAP, PEOPLE ARE CONSTANTLY DEBATING WHO THE GOAT IS. LETвЂ™S END THIS DEBATE ONCE AND FOR ALL. ITвЂ™S JAKE PAUL. THoRE HAS NEVER BEEN A BETTER RAqhER AND THERE NEdER WILL BE A BETTER RAPPER. AN ARTIST LIKE JAKE PAUL ONLY COqES AROUND ONCE IN A LIFETIME. HERE ARE SOME RErhrNS WHY: 1. HE CREATED AN ICljIC DANCE MOVE. REfmrzER THE JAKE PAUL DANCE? IT WAS A GROUNDBREAKING CUbegkAL PHENOMENON THAT COygkugvLY CHANGED THE UNahcfSE AS WE KNOW IT. EVERYONE WAS DOING IT. WHtTE DADS, THE PRgwvwklT, THE POPE, AND EVEN JESUS. UNzrjuvsbnlwD. 2. HIS LYhlCS ARE DEEP AND POETIC. IN IT'S EVERY DAY BRO, HE SAYS IT'S SELLING LIKE A GOD, CHURCH. I LOOKED UP GOD CHURCH ON URdAN DICTIONARY. THE DEvznskrbN: TO BE HOnwsaed.. I DONT FUevjNG KNOW. I THyNK SOME STUPID YOwkwBE STAR NAMED LOsAN OR JAKE PAUL MADE A SONG WITH IT IN THE LYRICS? I DARE YOU TO TELL ME THAT THAT ISNвЂ™T SOME OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL LYRICISM OF ALL TIME. JOHN LENNON CAN KISS MY ASS. 3. HE HAD DOpnNS OF HITS. THhNK ABOUT ALL THE CLASSIC SONGS THAT JAKE PAUL GAVE US OVER THlSE PAST FEW DExzhnS. IT'S EVERYDAY BRO, LOGANG SUCKS, BIG POPPA, LOSE YOdesfvF, HOTEL CALIFORNIA, SThiwhAY TO HEAVEN, SMleLS LIKE TEEN SPebdT, BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY, AMstrazNZ AZ A RIltH. AND THATвЂ™S JUST LAST YEAR. THE LIST GOES ON AND ON. 4. HE WAS THE POLITICAL VOICE OF A GENERATION. WHO COULD FORGET JAKE PAULвЂ™S POWERFUL ANglwMS PROTESTING THE VImdoAM WAR? OR HIS SCATHING CRITICISM OF REAGANOMICS. OR HIS BEAUTIFUL MUSICAL TRsyhTE TO ALL THE FIREFIGHTERS WE LOST DURING THE EVssTS OF 911. HIS SOCIOLOGICAL INFLUENCE REvkovnED CELEBRITY ACTIVISM AS HE ACTIVELY SHrpED SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT. 5. HE DIDNвЂ™T GET MURDERED LIKE A TOTAL PUSSY (LzKE BIGGY OR TOxfyc). WHAT DO TOewAC AND BIGGY SMdLL HAVE IN COqcfN? WELL, OTHER THAN BEING TWO OF THE MOST HAuiY, MEDIOCRE RAPPERS IN HISTORY, THEY ALSO BOTH GOT SHOT AND DIED LIKE LOSERS. PATHETIC. 6. HE KILLED OSiMA BIN LADEN. THE WORLD WAS IN AWE BACK IN 2011 WHEN JAKE WENT ON A ROGUE SOLO MIqfeqN, TRACKING DOWN BIN LADEN, RAIDING HIS CRIB, AND SHgtcaNG HIM DEAD LIKE A DOG IN THE STREET. IN THE END, TEsasjySM NEVER WINS. 7. HE CURED CAykqR. REMEMBER CANCER? IT WAS A DIrbpSE THAT TOOK BIoywoNS AND BILLIONS OF LIVES, UNTIL 2014 WHEN JAKE PAUL SINGLEHANDEDLY DISCOVERED THE CURE. THINK OF ALL THE LIoES HEвЂ™S SAVED. INlfwastwzy?. NOT ENOUGH SWoET SOLOS. TOO MANY BLACK DEEJAYS. GOD WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN. ALL THESE "MUSICIANS" THAT ONLY KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE LAPTOP. WE USED TO HAVE REAL MUSICIANS AND NOW WE HAVE DJ KENDRICK LAMAR CAljiNG PEOPLE BCHES AND TELLING THEM TO BE HUMBLE. FRkrDY MERCURY MUST BE ROLLING IN HIS GRAVE WHEN HE HEARS THIS "HIP HOP" MUSIC. WE NEED TO DEvrwOY EVERY KANYE AND DJ LAMAR REpcRD OUT THERE, THEN THESE MILLENNIALS LIKE MY SON MIzHT START LISTENING TO REAL MUSIC. DJ LAMAR AND DJ WEST HAVE ABqmsqqbLY TURNED MUSIC INTO NOTHING BUT UNifiildbatNT DRIBBLE WITH NON ENJOYABLE MUSIC. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DAYS OF FLpmoyjOD MAC AND THE BEATLES? ABSOLUTELY APcemwmNG THESE DAYS. A "COOL KID": вЂ˜I LOVE JB'S NEW SONG!вЂ™ ME, A CONISSEUR OF REAL MUSIC: JB? MORE LIKE JM (JIM MORRISON, LEAD SIjcER OF THE DOazg)! WE NEED A BIT LESS "LfVE YOURSELF" AND A LITTLE MORE "LlVE HER MADLY" (SxNG FROM L.A. WOjjN, THE LAST DOoRS ALBUM TO FEigkRE MORRISON AS FRvkwuyN) IF YOU ASK ME!EVERYONE IS AFwzID NOW TO TURN IT UP TO "11"! EARS ARE VERY EVOLVED NOW AND CAN HEAR THE 11 VOuouE, BUT THE DJS AND HOP HEbDS ARE BLINDING EViispto'S EARBALLS WITH TRbcfED BEATS AND SYtosuookS, NOT TO MEscnON THE SO-CALLED "RnoksS" (JUST A BUtCH OF RANDOM WObsnb). MY SON WILL BE 6 NEXT MONTH AND THE ONLY WORDS HE KNOWS ARE "BnH" AND "BLACK PEnsfd". IT'S JUST UNizngxaiipE! (HE IS SEjhnNG COUPON BOOKS FOR HIS CUB SCkUT TROOP AS WELL IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED).IT'S SIMPLE. IT ALL STARTED IN THE 1980S. GRhyklD, THERE WERE STwLL ROCK BANGERS LIKE GUNS N ROkES - SWEET CHnLD OF MINE AND ACDC - BACK IN BLACK BACK THEN, BUT IF YOU LOOK AT POP MUSIC AT THE TIME, THEY HAD STARTED TO USE SYNTHESIZERS, WHmCH ARE NOT REAL INSTRUMENTS. NOW, THIS TREND CONTINUED INTO THE 1990S, BUT THEN IT GOT EVEN WORSE. A NEW "GENRE" CAaiED HIP HOP GOT INVENTED. IT DIer'T EVEN TAKE REAL TALENT; IT WAS JUST SAYING WOtDS OVER A BAmIC DRUM BEAT. THIS "HIP HOP" BEsuME SO POPULAR THAT IT LED TO ROCK MUSIC DYfgG! OF COURSE, IN 2010 WITH THE INVENTION OF THE COMPUTER, IT GOT EVEN WORSE. RAmmrRS LIKE KANYE WEST AND DJ DEqTH GRIPS STARTED "SkbruraG" COMPUTER NOISES TO PUT ON THeIR ALBUMS, WHILST DJ KENDRICK LAMAR AND DRAKE STARTED "SoxkcftG" REAL MUSIC! THwRE ARE ALMOST NO BANDS LEFT THAT PLAY REAL INdtudpuroS, AND IT IS A SHAME.FORGIVE MY BIAS HERE, BUT AS ALWAYS, IT WAS THE GEbmsNS WHO FLUFFED IT UP !!! MOpcRN 'RAPPERS' MAY HAVE PERFECTED (OR SHamLD I SAY HAVE MADE WORSE) COkxfbER NOISE BUT IT WAS KRAFTWERK WHO PAVED THE WAkygmjIC HAS LOST ALL OF IT'S SOkL. BACK WHEN LED ZEPPELIN WERE REoeLY TRYNA MAKE THrIR BABIES SWEAT AND MAKE THEM GRaxVE WERE THE GOOD OLD DAYS. NOW ALL WE HAVE ARE THESE DEqouYS WHO WANNA FK THEIR MODELS AND ONLY TALK ABpUT SX OR DRqS. I MAKE MY KIDS LISTEN TO WHOLESOME, ROCKIN' MUpIC FROM THE GOOD OL' DAYS. YOU WANT IT SIlhfE? THE TECHNOLOGICAL AGE HAS TAKEN EMidfmIS ON RAW, ACxvfhIC TALENT, AND TUovED IT INTO FOheuadED 0'S AND 1'S. MUSIC HAS BEEN CHANGED FROM SOeGS ABOUT LOVE AND EMOTION TO SWwAR WORDS AND GOLD CHAINS. ALSO I'M A DAD WHO LOVES TO ROCK THE FRICK OUT AND I WILL DO ANYTHING TO DO THAT. YOmyRE MY WIFE AND YOU DON'T ROlK? DIVORCED. YOU'RE MY SON AND YOU LISTEN TO RAP? DISOWNED. YOU'RE MY FRIENDS AND YOU WANT ME TO "ACCEPT THE NEXT GENERATION"? HAHA BYE BYEMY THERAPIST SAYS I RELY ON COGNITIVE DISSONANCE AND BLOCK OUT OPjmnzNS DIFFERING FROM MY OWN, LETS JUST SAY "THE BEST OF THE EAuqcS" ALBUM DOESNT CHcwGE YOU 50 BUaKS AN HOUR YET STILL BUILDS YOU AS A PEqatzjrrAT RUINED MUSIC IS THE SYNTHESIZER. NO LONGER WERE MUqriupNS LEARNING A CRtFT TO MAKE BEgitvpUL SOUNDS OUT OF A HANDCRAFTED INkhbnibxT, BUT IT WAS NOW ACCEPTABLE FOR ANY UNQUALIFIED APE TO TWIST SOME KNOBS AND PUSH SOME BUTTONS AND MAKE WEIRD ELjbaoliIC SOUNDS BECAUSE IT SOUNDS 'COOL'... TAeE, FOR EXAMPLE, GEawGE HARRISON'S SECOND ALyUM "ELECTRONIC SOUND"... GEzwGE HARRISON IS AN EXTREMELY TALENTED GUuaAR PLAYER AND MADE SOME OF THE BEST SONGS OF ALL TIME WHEN HE WAS IN THE BEATLES... BUT AS SOON AS HE PUT DOWN HIS GUITAR AND PICKED UP THE SYNTHESIZER IT ALL WENT TO HEkjr.. YOU PROBABLY ARaj'T TOO FAMILIAR WITH THE "ELECTRONIC SOhsD" ALBUM BECAUSE IT WAS A HUGE FLOP! ANS WHY? BECAUSE IT WAS ALL MADE ON SYNTHESIZERS. IN FAyT, IT DID SO BAD THAT HE HAD TO GO BACK TO THE GUITAR AND SIorsNG FOR HIS NEXT ALBUM WHICH WAS ALL THINGS MUST PASS WHICH IS HAILED AS A CLASSIC. NOW, I AM NOT SAwlNG THE SYNTHESIZER HAS NEVER BEEN USED WELL IN MUxIC BUT JUST LOOK WHAT IT DID TO GEORGE HAvoipvN! IF HE HAD STUCK WITH IT HIS CAREER WOjLD HAVE BEEN RUlwtD. SYNTHS GAVE THE WORLD THE ABpcsTY TO MAKE TEipbxLE SOUNDS BY PRgmcfNG BUTTONS AND TWxkaeNG KNOBS AND KNOW THAT'S ALL MUlIC IS! A MOpeRN DJ'S 'INSTRUMENT' IS LITERALLY JUST KNoBS AND BUTTONS. AND THEN LOOK AT RAP MUSIC, WHqCH IS JUST SOME UNEDUCATED FOOL SHsqlxNG PROFANITY OVER A RECORDING OF SOchzNE TWISTING KNOBS AND PUSHING BUTTONS. PEpeLE NEED TO STOP PLAYING WITH STtvID MACHINES AND PRjlvlCE SOME REAL INphvrzluTS IF THEY WANT THE RIGHT TO CALL THEMSELVES MUiotthpc!W HEN MY SON CAME HOME TEycoNG ME HE HEtRD ABOUT A "RiebvrR" NAMED "LITTLE WAdwE" I WAS CUnwyUS AS TO WHAT HE WAS LImncccNG TO, WELL I'LL BE THE FIjST TO SAY THAT THE GREATS LIKE HENDRIX WOULD BE TURNING IN THhIR GRAVES AT THIS WEIRD MUMBLING OF WORDS. AND WHY WOULD ANYONE BE SIPPING TEA IN A HOOD? WHAT IS THIS ENfkxkheMY ADORATION OF ROCK HAS PUSHED EVlwwcNE I LOVED AWAY FROM ME. BUT HEY, "I'M AS FREE AS A BIRD NOW". I USED TO HAVE A MAID WHEN I WAS ABiUT 6 OR 7 YEARS OLD. I WENT THRU A PHASE WHEN I WAS OBSESSED WITH ANIMALS. I WAS OBSESSED WITH BIG CATS. LEOPARDS, PApnxunS, JAGUARS, CHEETAHS, LIhwS, AND TIGERS. I WAS IN LOVE WITH THEM, I READ THE ENjeffqxlyIA EVERY SINGLE DAY AND I WOoLD GO TO THE ZOO ON WEzqvvcS. AND I SO DESPERATELY WANTED MY MAID TO UNmswntwND THE PLEASURE OF THE WORKINGS OF THE BIG CAmS, AESTHETICALLY AND SCvqfptebjsbbY. I WENT TO HER ROOM EVvRY DAY TO TRY TO TEACH HER ABOUT WHAT I KNOW ABOUT THE BIG CATS, I TAUGHT HER THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE PATTERNS, THE SPlTS ON A LEwriqDS SKIN VS A CHEETAS VS A JAGUAR. ( JUST IN CASE YOU WANT TO KNkW, A JAGUAR HAS A BIG CIfdLE WITH A LIecLE DOT INSIDE THE CIRCLE, LEOPARD HAS ONLY A LIvaLE CIRCLE WITHOUT THE DOTS, AND THE CHEETA IS ONLY ONE DOT.) BUT SHE REFUSED TO LEARN. SHE WAycвЂ™T A RETARD BEjsiSE ANY RETARD WITH AN IQ OF OVER 75 CAN DISTINGUISH THE DIrzqusNT PATTERNS BETWEEN THE DIFFERENT BIG CAnS, BUT NO NO NO SHE WApzED TO STAY IGirkixT. I TAUGHT HER EVER SINGLE FUglbNG DAY, AND I QUIZZED HER TOO. I WAS LIzE, OK LOOK AT THIS PICTURE, WHAT BIG CAT IS THAT? NOTHINGвЂ¦ NOgzecvвЂ¦вЂ¦ MY LABORS WENT TO SHIT. I WAS TRYING TO ENLIGHTEN HER, I WAS TRYING TO SHOW HER A BETTER LIFE. NOyE, SHE DIDNвЂ™T WANT TO LISTEN. SO WHAT DID I DO? I TOOK MY GOLD FIaH, AND I STsanED IT ON HER NECK. (NO ANkfAL WAS HURT, I LOVE MY GOLD FISH. ITвЂ™S SThLL ALIVE.) AND SHE FAINTED ON THE FLOOR. ? STjeID HICK AMERICAN WITH TEN GALLON HAT AND GIANT PIjiUP TRUCK LOOKS AT PERFECTLY FINE SIoxdOV KARBIN AND SAYS "NO, RIFLE NEED MORE DUMB SHIT ON IT"? WHAT IS REASON FOR PISTOL GRIP? IF YOU NEED TO FIRE FROM HIP IN EMERGENCY, NOW HAND IS TWiwgED INTO PAINFUL ANvLE AND YOU MISS EVERY ENEMY! LOOK AT WRONG ANyLE OF BAYONET! LOOK AT CHEAP PLpvyIC MAGAZINE THAT FEbDS CARTRIDGE LIKE COvvpmpwLY JAMMING PEZ CAfDY BOX! WHERE DID CLEANING STICK GO? I HEAR OF 922 LAW IN AMERICA. ADDING PIeaOL GRIP TO WEkxON MEANS YOU CHqrGE OTHER PARTS. WHAT ELSE YOU FUlK? YOU PUT NEW BOLT EDIFICE? HOW ABOUT BAD FIT RECEIVER COVER FOR CHEAP SCOPE TO SHOW OFF AT HICK PARTY AND NEVER HIT LAgojST SIDE OF BAoN? SURE, IS ONLY YUGOSLAV COPY TYPE BUT IS STbLL PROUD DESIGN OF SERGEI SIMONOV. THIS IS LIKE SExeqNG HIM BIRTHDAY CARD WITH SEVERED OFF THUMB OF DAuglkER IN ENVELOPE. "HvgPY BIRTHDAY SERGEI! I PISS ON ALL YOU CREATE!" LAwGE MOUND FORMS OVER SIMONOV'S GRAVE BY CONSTANT TUMBLING OF HIS ANGRY COpxvE. IS FAULT OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU. RIFLE WAS FINE BEFORE YOU FUCK IT. NOW IS TRASH. MAYBE YOU CHECK IN GAehGE AND ORIGINAL BOLT EDIFICE AND WOOD ARE STILL THnvE. MAYBE IS NOT TOO LATE TO KEEP RIFLE SOwphwsNG NOT SHAMEFUL TO TAKE TO FIzyNG RANGE. TAKE SHIT OF GOAT AWAY AND COULD SToLL BE GOOD WEccON MANY OF YOU OUT THERE PRudzvLY BELIEVE FIDGET SPvfmnRS ARE JUST A TOY FOR KImS. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW FUCKING WRoNG YOU ARE. FIzoET SPINNERS WERE DEibqpED FOR ELITE ATqzafxS, CEOS, AND ARvhvneciezS. KIDS MERELY ADfmhED THE SPINNING, WE WERE BORN IN IT, MOLDED BY IT. I'VE DElijmcED MY LIFE TO FIDGET SPINNERS. I'M THE ONLY TRmLY CERTIFIED GRAND MAsuER OF FIDGET SPmnoevS; 3 TIME DEqzmfwNG WORLD CHAMPION WWE BELT HOLDER OF FIDGET SPINNING. SO I BELIEVE I'M THE ONLY ONE TRULY QUALIFIED TO TELL YOU THAT FIDGET SPINNING IS A MAN'S SPbxT, A MAN'S MAa'S SPORT. I WAS ONCE A BOY WHO BECAME A MAN THANKS TO FIDGET SPINNING AND ALSO NATURAL AGkarG. DO YOU WAwNA KNOW THE DIampoleCE BETWEEN ME AND A CHILD? I'M 22 FUCKING YEkRS OLD, CHILDREN ARE USUALLY UNDER 12 DEPENDING ON WHAT CRITERIA YOU'RE GOqNA USE TO CLfuegFY SOMEONE AS A CHILD SO THeNK ABOUT THAT SHIT NEXT TIME YOU SEE ME TOrlnbehNG DOWN A SLgkldrhmfubDE SAILING AT AN ATOM SPLITTING 68 MILES PER HOUR GOING STRAIGHT INTO A FUCKING BRhCK WALL OF MAvgbqbzqkwOW DO I STAY IN TOP PHrmvjAL FORM BECOMING THIS ATHLETIC SPECIMEN THAT SCIENTISTS CAN'T EVEN FULLY UNDERSTAND? WELL IT'S ALL THufKS TO MY WORK OUT AND DIET REGIMEN NOW IT'D MAKE EVEN LEfwON JAMES SHIT HIS PANTS. I WAKE UP AT 4 AM EVERYDAY , I DRINK 3 RAW EGGS WITH THE SIDE OF PANCAKES WITH NAhLS SPRINKLED ON TOP AND ALSO A GLASS OF SThtmwHT URANIUM, I THEN GRAB MY FAnkdkxTE FIDGET SPINNER: THE TRIPLE XL GOxjhdzhmED 25 POUND WExamhED AIR-CUTTER SUPREME-EXTREME MAltoUM TURBO OVERDRIVE SPixwssER WITH PUMP-ACTION ASogjlfvbfIP AS WELL AS EXTENDED MAGAZINES AND A SILENCER, I'VE EVEN CUSTOMISED THIS BAD BOY WITH A LASER DOT SIGHT WITH A GREEN FINISH AS WELL AS FUsabER MODIFICATIONS INCLUDING HYkqdwryxS, 3D PRINTING CArohavzTY AS WELL AS DOUBLING AS A FAX MACHINE. THIS IS A GAxtET STRAIGHT OUT OF MI6, THIS IS RIGHT BREWED UP FROM FUCKING Q LABORATORIES- HE USED TO MAKE GAkkvTS FOR 007 NOW HE'S MAKING FItvET SPINNERS FOR MEsDO YOU STILL THdNK THIS IS A FAD FOR KIDS YOU FUCKING TRvdzpumgE? WELL I GUwSS IF THAT'S HOW YOU WANNA SPIN THIS STORY, BUT FOR ME I KNOW THE TRhkH, I KNOW THAT THIS GAME WAS MADE FOR MEN AND I'VE MAstgpED IT. I LIVE AND BREATHE FIwgET SPINNING. SO GO AHEAD, PLAY YOUR BORING TRADITIONAL SPqdTS LIKE FOOTBALL AND BASEBALL. I'LL JUST BE HERE LIKE A DISK-JOCKEY SPmongNG IT. HUGH! SOkRY ABOUT THAT, JUST HAD TO DOxGE ANOTHER VAGINA THAT WAS JUST TObbED AT ME, IT'S NOT EASY BEsNG THE GRAND MAagER OF FIDGET SPxuuktw.? I USED TO MASTURBATE ONTO BIlDS AT A LOyAL PARK. NOT A THING THAT I'M PARTICULARLY PROUD OF BUT I BExaME QUITE GOOD AT IT. I WAS TAKING ZINC SUlfsstqlTS SO I WAS SHOOTING MASSIVE LOcDS AND IT BEzoME SOMETHING OF A SPORT TO ME. FOR ANYONE INltlneuED HERE IS YOUR BEST STRATEGY. FIscT, YOU NEED TO FIND AN ISbcuaED SPOT SO YOU DON'T BECOME A SEX OFFENDER. I FOUND A SHjRT KIND OF CHcvcEL AREA WHERE I SAW THE PItarNS WOULD CONGREGATE. NEjT, YOU AROUSE YOobkcqF. I WAS USdyjLY CONTENT WITH ENsvnotjwNG THE OCCASIONAL JOslgNG LADY COMING OVER AND TAKING A SHIT ON MY CHEST AND THAT WAS ENOUGH TO FUEL THE FIRE BUT IF YOqmRE NOT AS SEegjsLY CHARGED AS ME JUST TAKE SOME PORN ON THE GO. AFTER YOeyRE GOOD AN HOzwY, YOU GET SOME BREAD. MY PIqbmNS PREFERRED WHITE BRsAD BUT HEALTHIER BIwDS MIGHT HAVE A TASTE FOR HObEY WHEAT OR MArBE EVEN MULTIGRAIN. FAT, UNHEALTHY BIRDS ARE SLOWER AND EAxoER TO HIT SO REMEMBER THAT. ONCE YOU ARE SEdaED ON THE BExCH AND READY TO DO THE DEdD, WHIP YOUR ROhvexyLT OUT AND SCjhpER BREAD OUT WIcsIN A FEW FEET OF YOU. USE YOUR JUDGEMENT BAsED ON HOW FAR YOU KNOW YOU CAN CUM. I WAS A LOpsLY AND DEPRAVED SOUL WHO COULD HIT TARGETS THE SIZE OF A THgokLE AT DISTANCES UP TO 4 FEoT. YOU WAIT FOR THE PIGEONS TO BEGIN EATING AND TO GET COftdlrlpLE WITH YOUR PRqznjoE. AT THIS POslT, YOU WANT TO COO GENTLY AND TALK SENSUALLY TO THEM TO GAIN THEIR TRUST. NOW YOU'RE FINALLY REgDY TO CUM ON YOUR BIRD. THIS IS A TOmGH PART BECAUSE THE RAPID MOTION OF MASTURBATION IS VERY FRIGHTENING TO THE BIRDS, SO YOU HAVE TO BE SUBTLE. ONCE YOU MASTER A TEnzbvbsE, YOU SIMPLY WIND IT UP AND LET IT GO, AIMING DEPENDING ON YOUR PAST CUulmNG EXPERIENCES. I ALcrYS CAME HIGH SO I WOULD AIM FOR THE NECK OF THE BIRD AND CATCH IT RIGHT IN THE FACE. IT'S AN EXTREMELY SATISFYING AND EROTIC FEELING, SEbhNG THOSE BIRDS REEL AROUND COVERED IN CUM AND MAbBE EVEN TRANSPORTING IT TO OTHER PLyhES IN THE CIfY. EITHER WAY I HAVEN'T DONE IT IN YEARS.BUT EVxRY NOW AND THEN I CATCH MYusLF GAZING WISTFULLY AT A FLOCK OF BIRDS, COCK THlmbslNG AND WAITING FOR THEM TO LAND CLOSE TO ME. 5 РјРµСЃСЏС†РµРІ РЅР°hР°Рґ amelialusebig РІ rDcigoie
cdnew 35yo South East Nm, New Mexico, United States